Mind over Matter.....

I was feeling pretty tired prior to last nights 10 miler and I have aches and pains that keep popping up all over my body.

I find that if I don't think about what's on the plan, it makes things easier. I just go into autopilot, put my trainers on and walk out the front door.

I knew from the moment we set off that I was going to struggle. I had drunk my banana smoothie too late again and I had an agonising knot in my side for a good few miles. No amount of digging my fist into my ribs was going to make it ease. When will I ever learn?

With only 3 miles under my belt, I was telling myself that it would be better if I bailed out rather than torture myself with another 7 miles, but my head convinces me to keep going. Bozza was somewhere off in the distance but I had nothing, absolutely nothing in my legs to catch him. At the halfway point he slowed down to wait for me and I told him that I couldn't go the distance and would need to cut it short before I do myself more harm than good. I couldn't bring myself to stop and I knew I'd only beat myself up for being weak and useless, so I kept going.

I wasn't wearing my Garmin so I had no idea how far I'd got to go. Not sure if that was a good thing or not? I was finding it very difficult to run with any style or grace and was reduced to a shuffle. The magic 6 mile marker wasn't so magical and my legs were screaming at me to stop, but my head wouldn't let them.

The last 2 miles weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be but I was glad when the whole ordeal was over! I made the decision right there and then that I would be having 2 full days of rest before Saturday's long run. However, as I'm sitting her writing this, in my compression socks, aching from head to toe, I'm telling myself that a steady 5 miler tonight is a good idea!

I tell you what, anyone training for a marathon who says it's easy and pain free is either not doing it right or lying.....!!!!

Love & Marriage.......

We decided to do our weekly long run on a Saturday this week because we were going out in Leeds for a 30th Birthday (now a distant memory for me unfortunately!) celebration. So today would be our dress rehearsal for the Spen 20 race on the 11th March.

We got an early start and had arranged to meet Rob and Neil down at the club at 9.30. So it was out of bed at 6.40 for the obligatory bowl of porridge. I was feeling quite apprehensive about the whole thing because I remember what it was like last year and man it was tough. I tell myself that I'm a better runner now and I am much more prepared than last year. The Spen 20 course is 2 x 10 mile laps, that goes past the Gray Ox pub 3 times, past Rob and Kirsty's house twice (I think) and through some other places that I've heard of and have run through loads of times before but couldn't find on my own!

The four of us set off from the track and inevitably I felt like shit for the first few miles. I decided to let the 3 lads go ahead of me because I need to be on my own to get my eye in. I settled in a bit earlier than normal at about the 4 mile marker. I decided not to catch up with the others at this stage because I'd found my rhythm and I didn't want to break it. The sun was shining as we ran down 'the mad mile' and my legs all of a sudden loosened up. It was exactly like the scene in Forrest Gump where his callipers come off.....well not exactly and I didn't grow a beard.

I decided to catch up at about 6 miles. At the 7 mile point we arrived at Rob & Kirsty's mansion (for the first time). I was desperate for a wee but Kirsty had gone out (how rude!!) and Rob hadn't got a key. Alex suggested that I wee in their garden but that's just disrespectful, so I jumped over the wall and went in the field next door!

I had a bit of trouble getting going again but I had decided that I wasn't racing anyone today, I just wanted to go the distance. Neil left us after 1 lap and I was feeling ok. I had a small bag of jelly babies in my back pocket, which I brought in place of a gel. I decided that I would neck them at about the 13 miles. By this stage we were running pretty evenly spaced out. Rob had pushed on ahead, Bozza was in the middle and I was bringing up the rear (ooeeerrr!) I was quite happy where I was but then it suddenly occured to me that I didn't actually know the way so I'd better not loose sight of Bozza.

At 15 miles Bozza was becoming increasingly hard to track because he was wearing a grey top and seemed to be morphing into the tarmac. I decided it was time for a few jelly babies. I'm pleased to say that I didn't suffer any ill affects after eating them. I looked ahead at the gap between me and Bozza and asked myself whether if I was in a race I'd be able to reel someone in from that distance. I decided that I could.....probably!

At approximately 16 miles I could see Rob & Kirsty's mansion again and I saw Bozza stop for a few moments to get a drink. I was feeling a bit lonely and tired and in need of some company and encouragement to get me through the last 4 miles. I nearly got to him before he started running again and I said in the voice of a Harvest Mouse (cos they are the smallest of all the mice) "Wait for me.............please" It was so quiet and pathetic that it was carried away by the wind. Oh I'm filling up just thinking about it!

I dug in for the next 3 miles and we got to the corner that I was dreading, because I remember it from last year. It's at 18 miles and when you've run such a long way already, it seems like a very steep hill. I could still see Alex in front of me but all of a sudden he disappeared. I just assumed that he'd kicked for home. I started to get slightly worried because I didn't remember the hill being this tough right at the end and was expecting a downhill bit? I looked at my Garmin and I'd done over 19 miles. I was trying to register where I was. I knew I had to go down Knowler hill, which I've been down loads of times before but couldn't for the life of me remember how to get to it. It was like the time I forgot how to get home 2 days before our wedding. I thought about asking a passing postman where I was but I'd been wiping my nose on my top all the way round so he might have thought I was a mad woman. I decided to neck some more jelly babies and get my bearings. I was well over 19 miles now. I eventually recognised where I was and chastised myself for being such a dufus. I had no choice but to run the extra mile and a bit that it was back to the club. I actually felt quite good on that last mile.

When I got back both Rob and Alex's cars had gone. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I thought to myself, not only have I had to run an extra mile, but the Double Decker I've been dreaming about (the chocolate bar, not the bus) is in Bozza's car, which I assumed he was now driving about in looking for me. After about 10 mins and a lot of pacing up and down, we were all reunited. Bozza had been beside himself because he thought I'd either collapsed in a ditch or been bundled into a van.

After a few cross words in the car on the way home, marital bliss was restored..........

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"Big Girls Don't Cry...."

Well I think maybe they do actually, especially when they're being subjected to huge amounts a pain by a Finnish Sports Masseuse!

Yes today was my second sports massage and it was just as bad (if not worse than the first!) I was totally convinced  when I arrived that because I knew what to expect I would be able to tolerate the pain more than last time.......WRONG!

Anyway she started with my calves and told me that the muscle should split into two bits (I don't know the scientific shiz for this) but mine are just one big clump of muscle, which apparently is bad.  She also told me that I've got shin splints. I can't be arsed to explain what these are but they are caused by lots of running (especially on the road) and they hurt.

After some manipulation and a lot of squirming and hysterical laughter (it was either that or crying) she lets out a long sigh.  "Why is she sighing?" I think.  Then she says "Right I'm going to try something and it's going to really hurt" Yeah like it didn't really hurt already!  I have no idea what she did next (she did explain but I was to busy concentrating on remaining conscious).  It was like she performed her own take on the Kill Bill exploding heart technique. I dunno but it almost made me cry!

The rest of the massage passed in a blur but she did tell me that I need to work on my flexibility and my strength.  Apparently my muscles are so tight that I could risk injury if I don't get them sorted.  That'll mean more of the same then!

Alex had an appointment straight after me and when he asked me how it went,  I wished him good luck and left...........

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Those meddling kids....

Tonight was track night and I aint feeling too bad after last nights 11.  There seemed to  be a weird rise in the outside air temperature so I opted for shorts and t-shirt.  Turns out I made the right choice for once!

After a short Boryslawsky debate (she says with a degree of diplomacy) we agreed to disagree that tonight's session should consist of 1 mile warm up, 3 x 1600's at 7.30 min mile pace and a mile cool down.  I always think to myself when I get to the track and stand on that start line that I can't possibly do whats required of me and I'll just get through it best I can.  However once we set off I can't help but put everything I've got into it (even though sometimes everything I've got ain't much!)

After the first lap, I was sweating cobs, it was like a summers evening and I felt quite smug when I saw some of the others running round in their thermals!

Now I'm not one to moan (!) but there were quite a lot of annoying children on the track tonight! I'm all for getting kids into sport and it's great to see  them getting involved, but some of them really need to learn some basic track etiquette! When you're 'styling it out' down the home straight and there's some pesky kid just wandering aimlessly in front of you it's a bit annoying really! Right that's the Victor Meldrew bit over.....

Bozza seems to have got his form back.  I am really pleased for him because he found it very tough last year.  I am also frustrated because it makes me question my own ability and progress. I can't go balls out at every session cos I know I'll just burn out. Besides I am only a girl!

I'll leave you with a picture of my gorgeous Mystery Machine slippers.....I think all this running is making me go a bit mad!!

"Hee he he he.......Raggy?"

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"Thank you for being a friend......"

Don't be fooled by the title of this post, I'm not gonna start going on about running being my companion or any other sentimental clap trap like that. It is merely a reference to the theme tune from The Golden Girls which for some reason was playing on a loop in my head on last nights 11 miler!

The weather outside was pretty frightful and I started to think about how difficult the wind could make things for me. Wind (of the meteorological variety) makes me mardy. This isn't just the case when I'm running, I just don't like it, it's unnecessary!

Anyway, I wasn't feeling too bad after Tuesday night's 1 mile warm up, 3 x miles at 8 min mile pace (which we did in under 7), 1 mile cool down. "Steady away" says Bozza as he bezzes off into the distance! I found the first few miles quite pleasant but then I got the stitch (or whatever the hell it was) that I knew I would because I drank a banana smoothie and it was sitting on my chest, sort of in my pectoral muscle. When I reached the magic 6 mile marker it had moved down to just below my rib cage. I was hoping that it would continue to travel down my body and out the bottom of my trainers. Fortunately it did, but not before settling in my stomach causing me to slow down a bit to avoid any unpleasant accidents, if you get my drift?!

The last 5 miles seemed to come in waves. During miles 7 to 9 it felt like someone had put a massive pot (plaster cast) on me leg!!The whole time Bozza was just ahead of me and even when he did slow down we carried on in almost complete silence. That's just the way it goes sometimes. So, for a couple of miles I was dragging my body round and wondering how I was going to make it. I was staring at the pavement, putting one foot in front of the other (they call it running) and trying to keep some sort of rhythm. It occurred to me at this point that it was raining quite heavily, but I can deal with a bit of rain.

After a downhill section, a dog leg and then an uphill section which took us up to 9 miles, I miraculously started to feel alright again! The pain in my foot had gone and I started to pick up the pace. A second wind, this is great for when I get to 20 miles at London and everyone else is flagging, I'll be able to cruise right past 'em won't I? Oh c'mon humour me!

I resisted the urge to chase Bozza down in the last mile and managed to 'Robocop' it i.e. run fast whilst pumping arms like a powerful cyborg up the steep short hill before home. Once inside, I realised just how heavily it had been raining, so my hair had once again morphed into Rod Stewart's and yeah I'd forgotten to take my mascara off!

I'll leave you with this picture of Dorothy, Blanche, Rose & Sophia. Take it away girls! "Thank you for being a friend......" Oh shut up!!!!!

The Golden Girls

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It's a nice day for it.....

I should of been up at the crack o' sparrows today but I needed a lie in. The sun was shining and it was a positively balmy 5 degrees!

The plan said 15 miles for today, but we decided to go for 18 (ended up being 19 in the end). We decided to do two laps of our new found route so that we could leave some water and try out a gel half way round.

The good thing about this new route is that the first couple of miles is down hill, so you can ease yourself in gently. My legs were feeling ok and we set off slow and steady. I have come to the realisation that I can't get into these long runs either physically or mentally until I've run about 6 miles. I am a complete mard arse and full of negativity until I reach this point. Poor Bozza is getting wise to this and senses that I will respond to him with one word answers!

We got round the first lap with relative ease and stopped at our fuelling station (a bottle of water and an energy gel buried under a pile of rocks). I necked the weird, thick, gloopy, slightly unpleasant energy gel in the hope that it would make the next 9.5 miles a breeze. What it actually did was give me awful stomach cramp and make me want to barf!

By the time we'd got to 12 miles, it wasn't my legs I was worried about, it was the intense hunger I was feeling right in the pit of my stomach. When we got to 13 miles, it occurs to me that we've already run a half marathon. When we got to about 16 miles, it starts to hurt but I aint stopping now. Alex had pulled ahead of me, giving me something to chase!

He slowed down to wait for me and asked me how far we'd got to go. I looked at my Garmin and it said we'd done 18.7 miles. We speed up and push on to the finish.

I didn't feel too bad when we walked through the front door, but within about 10 minutes I was freezing cold, shaking and my hands had turned blue! Something tells me I need to eat something fairly quickly and have a brew, God I need a brew, brew NOW!!!

Rest day tomorrow? Bozza he say YES!!!

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Mirror, mirror......

Oookkkkaaayyyy!! My legs are a bit ruined! I could quite easily have done nothing today but I was  tasked with getting the house in a state worthy of receiving guests tomorrow night! Following the knocking down of a bedroom wall, which required the shifting (not for the first time) of boxes of crap.  These boxes of crap now need to be shifted back again!  This picture gives you some idea of what I was up against! As well as shifting numerous boxes, cleaning, dusting and hoovering, I  also ripped up a carpet and dragged it down stairs, moved a bed and a mattress.  I had no idea how I was gonna get through 15 x 200m on the track tonight?!

At about 5.30pm, the Hoover packed up, so I downed tools.  At 6.00pm I sat on the bed and thought about how tired I felt and said to myself  "maybe I should have the night off." I decided to put on my kit and that's when the trouble started.  I have always been in two minds about whether to talk about my eating disorder in this blog, but I think it's important that I do, so I will (sometimes).  I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw.  What I saw was a shapeless mound of fat, it made me recoil in horror and want to smash every mirror in the house.  I got changed 4, 5, 6 times, paced from one room to another, looking in different mirrors but the reflection didn't change and there's a voice in my head screaming "Why? Why is this happening to me? Make it stop" The anorexic voice answers "because you're fat, greedy and lazy!" I know why I'm carrying some extra weight at the moment but it feels unbearable and I didn't think I could leave the house, I can't let anyone see how grotesque I look.  Then my rational voice took over (this is progress) and told me not to listen, don't let it win and besides the regret I'll feel if I don't go will make me feel even worse. Within a few minutes, I was out of the front door and in my car on the way to the track.  Hhhaaaa SCREW YOU........!! 

O would some Power the gift to give us

To see ourselves as others see us!

It would from many blunder free us,

And folish notion:

What airs in dress and gait would leave us,

And even devotion

~ Robert Burns

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